The Little Things

There are a lot of emotions involved when trying to plan a wedding. You dive in excited with big dreams and an idea. Half way through you realize that somewhere along the way your dreams turned hostile and this planning isn’t so exciting anymore. Stress builds and builds until everything seems to get thrown back onto your shoulders. One of the things I hear countless times over from brides who have been down this road is that, the small things don’t matter. Leave the napkin colours, the favors, and pew bows on your backburner. These things won’t matter as much in the end. In the end you may be the only person who will notice these details. When you are stressed, trying to figure out a clear path to the finish, leave out the small details.

I love hearing from past brides, their experiences, and their big day. It’s a breath of fresh air, a light to guide you through your current journey. Listening to their advice sooths me, to know I am not alone through this. Knowing that you are not the only one who has stressed over wedding cake tiers or bouquet shapes and sizes, it’s refreshing. I am one of the last out of my group of friends to get married, so I respect their views and opinions. They have been through it, lived with these feelings and made it to their wedding day in one piece. What is supposed to be an enjoyable and memorable experience should not be morphed into an unpleasant and uncomfortable one. One way that I have found my peace of mind is with other brides. Utilize their experiences, listen closely. Whether past bride or future bride, we should all be banded together. I’m not leaving the guys out on this one either; the same advice goes to them as well.

It can be hard going through this on your own trying to make every detail perfect. I have been a control freak since we set the date. Grasping every detail and holding firm making sure no one can change what I have done. It gets exhausting and your mentality suffers. I don’t like when other people can share my business, or change my carefully thought out plans. This has been my struggle, letting bygones be bygones. I am a comfortable introvert and find it incredibly hard to be open with people about my plans. Of course a wedding would be out of my comfort zone, the whole family is involved with making this day happen. Regrettably it makes me feel like I am breathing underwater. I love talking with brides that have no problem with being extroverted. They have no problem with the mass involvement and can help me understand a few things better.

Something I have experienced and learned is that you can try your hardest to coordinate every last wardrobe detail for the big day. I tried my hardest, I wanted coordination. I wanted things to look cookie cutter perfect. Of course I have managed to coordinate my bridal team, where I fail is trying to stretch it further than that. Trying to coordinate wardrobes for my parents, my in-laws, my ushers, and the MC, the list goes on. I wanted placement, things to look like they were carefully constructed to look a certain way. Of course, the overwhelming aura of it all started before I could even get past my parents. In a perfect situation, it could all be possible; to have such organization and coordination. However, when you find yourself at wits end, burning the wick from both ends, it is time to re-evaluate. It is endless agony to try and align something that is constantly changing. There came the time when I had to give it up. I let it go, put my trust in my family, in the corresponding members of this team. It hasn’t been easy, but it is the best advice that I can give you. The stress and the hardship aren’t worth your sanity. Giving your trust to those closest to you and let them decide some of these details. Most of them won’t even matter on your big day, most of it you won’t remember. It’s a weight off your back that you won’t have to worry about, and trust me, we need this break. We deserve this break, and everyone will thank you for it. In the end, don’t let the small or uncoordinated things ruin this experience. Trying to control everything doesn’t just alter your happiness but affects the experiences and attitudes everyone involved as well. Remember to breathe, because it’s all going to be ok.